Monthly Messages

Using social media for your own good 🤳

May 07, 2021

We live in a world where so much of what we do is on Social Media. For hundreds of years, our connections were made over a phone that was connected to a wall. Overnight, it's almost like we have had to learn to connect with people in a whole new way: social media.

One of the hardest things about social media is- as women- we tend to use it as a tool to measure ourselves against other people. It creates a place where we are told what makes perfect beauty, what it takes to be the "perfect mom", and what it is to be a "perfect person". This is when we start to compare ourselves, and often times we tear each other down in order to build ourselves up. If it makes us feel better that someone else is not as good as they appear online- we are still comparing ourselves with them.

"After visiting the Victoria Secret fashion show, I realized that even if there are people who really do have a perfect life or perfect body, it's okay. It doesn’t affect us or our happiness at all. The impact it has within ourselves is our choice," Cara said in her latest Monthly Message Webinar.

If you were to see beautiful scenery, you wouldn’t automatically tear it down and start to compare it with other things. At that moment, you are simply enjoying the view and appreciating the beauty that you see within it. If we apply that to other people we come in contact with or interact with, we are able to celebrate the good they have and genuinely are hoping the best for them. The solution to making yourself feel better is not to tear someone else down- this will actually be the cause of your unhappiness.

What we see on social media is not necessarily someone's everyday reality, so when we are comparing our own lives with that it is creating false expectations.

"The best way I have gotten past comparing myself with someone else has never been by making myself feel above them; it may bring a rush of instant gratification in the beginning, but we will always end up feeling lower than when we began," Cara advises. "Next time you are feeling this way, use the 'I’m on your team trick!' Root for those people that are succeeding at something that we are not, be their biggest cheerleader, and cheer them on. If we are on their team and they win or succeed, so do we! We can be their best hype woman."

Positive energy breeds positive energy, and at that same time, negative energy will breed negative energy. No matter who we are or what we are sharing on social media, at some point we are all approached with a negative comment or opinion. When we are approached with something like this, it is important to not stop being ourselves; this is the saddest and worst thing that could happen. After we are cut down or affected by these comments for so long, we become a one-dimensional person. Don’t let the opinion of the few that might critique or disagree with us impact who we really are, what we stand for, and what other people appreciate.

As long as we are being authentic, genuine, and are coming from a kind place, we will be able to create a following of people that understand and align with our true selves. A community that rallies around each other and connects with authentic people is what will be developed. The connections bring a great wealth of knowledge, love, and experience into our lives. When we are on social media- whether it's as a member of a group or you're trying to create your own community- make sure to look for things that make you laugh, make you cry, and overall make you feel better about yourself. We want to make sure others in our group feel loved, appreciated and validated. This doesn’t necessarily mean it will be a world of happiness and sunshine all the time, though. We can still post authentic raw things, as long as our goal is to have a positive outcome.

There is nothing that is so good that will be healthy for us to do all day- there needs to be balance and boundaries in all things. Making sure to have a schedule and a plan will enable you to be able to step away and not be overcome by social media. You don’t want to get to a point where you are not enjoying doing your job and making those connections.

To watch Cara’s full webinar, click here.